So Inviting
by toreax
Summary: It has been five months since Leonardo has returned from the Jungle and as he looked down at the water, he couldn't help but feel invited to the dark abyss. Warning: depression, suicide


Leonardo's legs dangled over the edge of the pole. His blue mask tails blew over his shoulder as he arched his back forwards, resting his chin in his palm. His gray eyes gazed over the city, not really looking for danger, but looking for anything he missed after coming up to the surface when he and his brothers were fifteen. It was late, the sky dark, stars shining bright over the bright city lights. The car horns and police sirens raved throughout the busy city, people wandering through streets and stores. New York had always lived up to its name "The city that never sleeps".

It had been five months since Leonardo had returned from Central America. His mask hid the dark circles underneath his eyes, his gray irises cold and emotionless. His muscles ached from extra training that he forced himself to do regularly from his new insomnia. His mouth was dry from barely being used and his voice cracked whenever he spoke.

Sadness clutched at his heart.

There was no doubt to Leonardo that he had developed depression when he had returned from the jungle. It was obvious to him since he felt it, but his brothers didn't seem to notice.

Well, his brothers haven't noticed him in a while.

Leonardo only saw a new problem that had crept its way into his emotions. This feeling was filled with sadness and anguish. It made him feel unimportant, it made him feel exactly how he was being treated.

He had tried to correct his new problem, but it only became worse and worse.

He apparently didn't seem to live anymore. His brothers didn't talk to him. They didn't acknowledge him.

Actually they did talk to him.

He received insults and scolds from his brothers about how he left them alone with no leader for a year. They curse and swear at him, push and shove at his chest and shoulders. It seemed whenever he tried to correct his new problem by talking to them, they just make it worse by turning the whole conversation around, making it about him and his selfishness.

Leonardo had never, ever been a selfish person. He was truly _selfless_. He only cared for others and their safety, never thinking about his own unless everyone was okay and safe. He never really thought about himself unless he has a problem that could lead his brothers into something bad, like his depression.

But now, after all the hate he was getting from his brothers, he was starting to believe them.

Maybe he is selfish.

He had gone to the jungle to train and become a better leader for his brothers. When he was supposed to come back, he had stayed, not believing that he was ready to face his brothers. He didn't believe that he had changed into a better leader. So he stayed, to train more for his brothers.

Now, he had lost their trust because he wanted to become a better leader for them.

Leonardo didn't even consider himself a leader anymore. He didn't consider himself as a brother either.

And that's why he was sitting on a pole above the water.

The dark water rippled and swished with small waves, creating white bubbles that naturally mixed with the blues. Leonardo didn't know how far down it is, all he cared about is the fact that it looked so _inviting. _

Leonardo looked down at his wrist. It was smaller, less muscled like the rest of his body. Sure, he was still pure muscle from training and katas, but he had lost large amounts of weight since he had returned. His insomnia didn't help either. It was rare when he ate. He usually ate a small fruit for breakfast and choked down whatever Mike had made for dinner late at night before his secret training after his brothers and father were asleep. They didn't notice that he didn't come for dinner either.

Every time he ate, he felt like throwing up. He wasn't sure why. Food just made him sick to his stomach. He was never hungry. Maybe it had to do with the failure that sat high in his stomach, eating away his very being.

Leonardo sighed.

When would his brothers ever need him?

_Never, I guess._

The anguish that was set in his mind was too high to be healthy. Far from healthy.

Leonardo didn't even think or change his mind before he yanked off his mask.

His mask was his identity. They had all been given masks at a certain young age to show their honor and loyalty. That was why they were so important, so deal to them. It's why they barely took them off.

Even though their honor is deep inside them, their mask proudly shows it off.

Well, Leonardo's honor had been stripped from him by failing his family, by being rejected by his family.

So what was the point of having the mask to show his honor when he didn't have any?

Without a second thought, Leonardo let the mask slip through his fingers into the watery abyss below.

What was the point?

_What was the point of staying?_

A pain etched its way into Leonardo's chest. He knew that it wasn't from the loss of food; it was the loss of love. It was the pain of not being loved.

_So inviting._

Leo reached back and slid his katana out of his sheath. The metal pierced the air and shined from the bright colored lights reflecting from the city.

He didn't even deserve seppuku. Seppuku was for ones who hold honor.

_My honor no longer exists._

Leonardo sheathed his katana and unclipped his belt, sliding off the leather and his swords. He looked to his side and hung his belt on a stray nail that stuck out of the red painted metal of the bridge. Surprisingly, his belonging didn't swing or fall, they stayed put.

They weren't his anymore.

Leonardo slowly slid off his elbow pads and knee pads hanging them on another stray nail. He unraveled the white wrap from his wrists and ankles. He had made them extra thick so his brothers didn't see how skinny he had gotten from malnourishment.

_Like they would care._

The pain in his chest ceased as he stood up on the thick pole.

_There is no point._

Leonardo felt a lone tear escape from his eye, dripping down his cheek and into the water below.

_So, so inviting._

It's been a long time since he had ever cried. When he was ten years old maybe. When he realized that a leader doesn't have any time to cry, he suppressed those emotions. He had never cried even when his depression was the worst some days. He only stared at his walls emotionlessly, a sharp endless pain in his chest.

Leonardo let more tears escape him. He was no longer the leader, hasn't been in almost two years, so he is able to mourn.

Despite the tears, he smiled. A real, peaceful smile. He hadn't smiled in a while either.

And the jumped and no one was there to save him.

_So, so inviting._


End file.
